Apparently stalled sync, or very slow sync

[parkhays]

I and my peers recently upgraded to the latest version (1.4.0.1).  I run Vista on one machine and Mac OS 10.5? (Leopard) on the other, and my remote peer runs Win XP.  I am behind a router (a LinkSys WiFi router connected to a Comcast cable ISP).  Presumably that means I'm in a NAT domain and JXTA is using the Collanos (edge2?) relay server.

I show in my status bar: "0 B in, 2.31 MB out", and have shown this for two or three days.  The outbound value varies from about 2.27 to about 2.32, but never seems to change much more than that.

I can sync very quickly and without trouble on my LAN, at least according to one quick test.  However, I appear to be totally unable to sync with my remote peer.

I get, at least sometimes, invitations to new workspaces on one or both of the local computers, but so far (after several days of waiting) they don't appear to ever be created.

Question 1:
Are the relay servers overloaded or something?

Question 2:
Is there any alternative to using the relay servers, for example by port forwarding the LinkSys router to one of the LAN machines?

Question 3:
What does the traffic status actually mean?  Is "out" the amount that has been sent, the amount queued to be sent, the rate, or what?

Question 4:
Is there any way to tell what has been synchronized to who (or what is pending synchronization)? If not, consider that a feature request!

Thank you for any insight.  I like Collanos, but it sure has been frustrating lately.